Depressed Fortune Cookie Comic

What if the fortune cookie serving you self-help tips and bits of encouragement were depressed? The fortunes might look something like this:







What if the fortune cookie serving you self-help tips and bits of encouragement were depressed? The fortunes might look something like this:






A poem hastily written Satan Sold Out to Private Equity Spoke to my demonready to capitulate,offered up my soul. Desperate for cash,and a soul in disrepairmy ask was meager. In between vape hitsmy demon cackled, “We don’tdo that anymore.” Satan had bundledHell and all the rights to soulspast, present, future. Once securitized,sold to private equityfor…